Monday, 31 October 2011

Enough!

I wrote a blog post and blogger deleted it - must be a sign. I'm not going to re-write it but the gist of it was that DH and I reached the end of our tether this weekend. After weeks practically begging DH not to leave me and go to work, he finally saw why. And I had to finally admit to dreading waking up each morning. I was a mess, he was a mess. It was not pretty.

So what does one do when one is barely holding on to their sanity.... One writes lists!
  • Get out the house every day. Rain or shine I need to go out and do something.
  • Forgive myself for not living up to my parenting ideals - plastic toys and Disney cartoons are not going to kill him (Think: Sanity First)
  • Seriously consider my feeding options Struggling with this one. Want to b/feed but its pushing my coping buttons especially at night. Am having a visit from the b/feeding specialist tomorrow.
  • Get online schooling sorted for Seb. I cant tell you on how many levels I'm failing him right now. Whilst people keep telling me its fine, actually its not. He is nearly 7 and cant read or count to 30 properly. The S -word(school) has been mentioned. Seriously, I'm failing!
  • Say no. Stop doing lots of clubs, groups and things that are stressful, time consuming and difficult.
  • Use any means necessary to make life easier. Pay the cleaner, pay the kids, buy meals in throwaway packets; anything that helps
  • Use abnormally large amounts of Rescue Remedy. On the basis that this is probably better all round than a stiff drink or strong drugs.
  • Daily, list good things that have happened. Starting tomorrow! Not saying nothing good happened today, but it didn't.
  • Repeat  daily: It wont last for ever. Because he wont be like this once he is two, oh no, we'll be into toddler tantrums then.!!!

If my sanity holds out, and there are no guarantees at this point, by Christmas he should be eating food or almost. He should also be sitting and hopefully crawling too. Then this constant crying/screaming etc will seem such a short phase. Hmm....
blogged by C at 7:53 PM Categories: , ,

7 comments:

  1. Oh, Carol, I'm sorry, but I think you're right. Do whatever makes it easier for a while, and definitely get out of the house each day. It's one of my rules for myself, because I really find coping harder if I don't for whatever reason.

    As for Seb, you don't think it's all right, so it isn't. End of discussion. Anything I can do, yell, but I think an online school might be worth looking at even if it's just for the rest of this academic year.

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  2. Can't give you any constructive advice carol, I'm rubbish at advice, but just to let you know I'm thinking of you. With Lucas I think it's just a matter of time until he's a bit older, not quite so demanding, it's just getting through it I know.
    Going out is definitely a good idea. (hugs)

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  3. Just ((hugs)) and yes do what makes it easier. I wish I was nearby to help out. :( xx

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  4. Thank you ladies. If you were closer I'd hug you all :)
    I hadn't seen it all sneaking up on me although I suspect Anne did!
    I didn't realise how all encompassing Lucas was becoming or how wrapped up I'd become in trying a different 'earth-mother' type mum to him.
    *sigh* I am moving on from it a little and dh is watching me carefully. I'll be fine in the end.

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  5. Oh Carol, I can always see things sneaking up on other people. It's myself I miss every single flaming time... which doesn't make me much different from the rest of the human race.

    Seriously, you are doing a great job under trying circumstances, but you can't do it all unless you have some super-powers that you are keeping VERY well hidden. None of us can, and us control freaks hate that, don't we!

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  6. Yes we do :)
    What I do need Anne is any online school type websites if you come across any. I am using study ladder and reading eggs but thats all I found so far.

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  7. Have you seen this one?
    http://www.knowledgeadventure.com/

    or this one

    http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/Games/

    (Yes, I know they are games, but if I was Seb I would feel that I was being VERY unfairly treated if I went straight into online school without any carrot or real warning, and I wouldn't cooperate on principle. Since I suspect that he is in my Monster's league when it comes to not-cooperating, I teel this is NOT something you need. And with Christmas sneaking up on us, I would suspect that you'd be on a hiding to nothing trying to get anything serious organised, while this way you could establish a slot in the day when he does stuff on the computer and then gently ramp it up after Christmas.)

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