The lie of the land.

Well we're experiencing a fair amount of turbulence here on the home front. Things are up in arms for everyone it it seems. Where to start....

Well N is the one to start with I think and he is struggling with college. He stays up late into the night (or all night!) then cant get up for college. We have taken several calls from the college about it but what can I do? He is 16 and if he wont get up I cant make him. I lost any control I had over him a long time ago. When he is in his logical/sensible mode he can be very rational about his sleeping, college, partying, smoking etc but he just cant carry out his ideas. All mouth, no trousers I believe the saying is. As a parent it is frustrating and heartbreaking to watch. You just cant tell him. At this stage it is looking around 50/50 for the likelihood of him staying in college, depending when you ask him *sigh*

Abi is having her own little crisis of confidence after getting a D on her last Math exam. She got a C on her first exam and would need to get a high C this time to ensure an overall C but it doesn't mean its impossible. However she is now resigned to failing miserably and is talking of doing a level 2 course instead or even dropping out and doing floristry. Her maths tutor said outright that she should have stayed the full time oin the exam, berated her for not reading it properly and said she might want her to resit, (incidentally Im not best pleased with her right now)  at the opposite end of the scale is a friend who said she could just see Abi working in a little florist and that she didn't need any exams. *sigh* best on intentions but both so meddlesome. All Abi's initial confidence has gone and she is reluctant to even do her maths - its a bit of a coping mechanism with her; a stress reaction. Who knows what she will do but she has 5 months to get herself back on track for exam number 3.

Emma is just embarking on an exciting new adventure in the form of GCSE'S from Home Ed Partners. Its a little early but Em can start slow and work at her own pace. She initially reeled off 8 courses: Math, English, Chemistry, Physics, Spanish, French, Art and Food Tech. The last two were, I thought, impossible for Home Educators but HE Partners provide both. She'll go up there one Wednesday a month and the rest of the time she'll work at home. It is exciting but also it means stepping up her effort, now that will be a tough one as distractability and low perseverance are real problems for her.

Seb is reading more and more now and I am pleased that he is progressing so well. I still have some worries which I'll try and blog about separately but mostly he is making progress. He is on ORT Yellow (stage5) which is great and he is reading other bits, including his own school work to which means he can work slightly more independently. Not too much because his concentration doesn't hold for long but he is trying. He has crusty eyelids at the moment due to some sort of infection or another. I took him to the Dr 3 times now and he has had different creams. Only none of them have worked and I am convinced its a fungal thing which the Dr finally agrees with and has prescribed accordingly, just hoping it works because it looks pretty unpleasant.

Lucas is up and down. He has another ear infection which seems to be heading towards his chest as there is a distinct rattle. Sounds like its more in his throat currently though so we'll see. He has antibiotics which he hates but may just do the trick. His moods are up and down. When he could sit, and then use the walker he was relatively content but very quickly he tired of that and was frustrated again. Now he wants to pull himself up, he wants to stand unaided and even to take steps. None of these things are things he can do. I dont know, never before have I had a baby who was so hard to 'satisfy' or so complicated to understand. 

DH is doing ok in his own workaholic way. He is struggling with the lack of car purely because he cant work so long and hard as he likes to. He has his sweet moments but he is a bit like a bear with a sore head most of the time. On top of this he has made several losses lately by pricing his jobs so low. Whilst he cant go on like that he is getting in a tizzy because he thinks if he puts his prices up people wont  employ him. I try to reassure him but nothing is calming him down. The car thing is putting more pressure on him so he is a little like a pressurised container waiting to explode right now. We have seen another car we like but we are just waiting to see if we can afford it once the end of the month and rent day has been and gone.

As for me, Some days I wish desperately it wasn't morning, other days I am ok and make it through. I am a bit like one of those people who are melodramatic and melancholy about love and life ;all what-ifs and if-onlys but the other part of me tells myself to get a grip and dry up a little bit so Im floating precariously between the two. What I have done though is hired a mothers help. It started as a rent-a-granny idea to help with Lucas and Seb and ended up with a friend in dire need of cash, any cash to help me. It seems like an incredibly luxurious overindulgence just saying it, but in a time of no family support and the decline of extended family and community support networks it feels like there is no choice. No wonder women everywhere are cracking under new-baby strain and PND! It has made my week far easier, Seb is getting educated and the baby care is shared somewhat (and seems easier anyway somehow with another person here)

That just about covers us all I think and puts you in the picture, and its one less post in my Drafts folder.