So my birthday quietly came and went again. As always my children gave lots of thought and bought me some lovely presents- DVDs, an old fashioned cookery book, DS game and Lush goodies. Flowers were given too.
I decided to go with DH to take Abi to Bicton then the rest of us went to Exeter and paid a visit to the museum.
We didn't stay long but the children had a good look around and I think we'll go again.
Once home we did chicken and wedges for tea and I had cheesecake for tea ( I dont 'do' cake) and an early bedtime. Hardly an exciting day but I liked it :)
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Monday, 19 March 2012
Planning Projects
Amanda asked where I got the resources for the maps/housebuilding project so I thought I would write how I came to put it together.
It started with me looking for inspiration for Seb and I read that the Steiner curriculum and saw that housebuilding was a grade 3 main
lesson. Part of the reason Steiner doesn't work so well for many boys is that they are ready for the practical side of this much earlier than the curriculum allows. Seb was fascinated by all things building so I decided to do a project.
I discovered a fabulous book called Little Folks Land about a gypsy family who had a baby and built a house. I read the first few chapters and decided to use it for the basis of my project. I wrote a plan for each day and looked at a focus of each chapter. From there I googled for books on house building and came up with a mixture of books; fiction and non fiction, reading books and read-alouds. Next I looked up some worksheets and made some of my own, I made 3 piece cards (Montessori style). I bought some building activities (lego, log houses and mini brick building), bought sticker books, added craft activities and videos/tv shows. This is the finished lesson plan:
From this I decided that we covered house position and that lead to compasses and so to maps and from this was borne a maps block which I decided should come first. Again I gathered books, atlases, workbooks, dvds, bought some map jigsaws and made some worksheets and so here is the lesson plan for the Maps work.
It started with me looking for inspiration for Seb and I read that the Steiner curriculum and saw that housebuilding was a grade 3 main
lesson. Part of the reason Steiner doesn't work so well for many boys is that they are ready for the practical side of this much earlier than the curriculum allows. Seb was fascinated by all things building so I decided to do a project.
I discovered a fabulous book called Little Folks Land about a gypsy family who had a baby and built a house. I read the first few chapters and decided to use it for the basis of my project. I wrote a plan for each day and looked at a focus of each chapter. From there I googled for books on house building and came up with a mixture of books; fiction and non fiction, reading books and read-alouds. Next I looked up some worksheets and made some of my own, I made 3 piece cards (Montessori style). I bought some building activities (lego, log houses and mini brick building), bought sticker books, added craft activities and videos/tv shows. This is the finished lesson plan:
Lesson 1
Read
- Little Folks Land
-
Houses and Homes
Tell
story of Noah’s Ark
Walk
in the woods, gather nuts and sticks
Lesson 2
Read
- Little Folks Land
- A House in the Meadow
Paint
a picture woodland home
Make
a clay pot
Lego
house building
Lesson 3
Read
- Little Folks Land
- Hansel and Gretel
Lay
out sticks in the shape of the house
Architect
Lesson 4
Read
- Little Folks Land
- A House in the Mail
Lumberjack
Building
with logs
Sawmill
video on YouTube
Lesson 5
Read
- Little Folks Land
- Let’s Build a house
Building
Sites Sticker Book
Visit
a Brick Yard
Brick
mason
Lesson 6
Read
- Little Folks Land
- Three Little Pigs
- Jobs People Do: Builder
Building
a Brick and Mortar House
Carpenter
Lesson 7
Read
- Little Folks Land
- Building a House
Painter
Lesson 8
Read
- Little Folks Land
- A Book about building
Famous
Buildings
Lesson 9
Read
- Little Folks Land
- Miss Brick the builder’s baby
Bedroom
furnishing
Go to B&Q to get colour charts, get Argos
and Tesco Direct book.
Lesson 10
Read
- Little Folks Land
Parlour
Furnishing
Lesson 11
Read
- Little Folks Land
Dining
Room furnishing
Lesson 12
Read
- Little Folks Land
Kitchen
furnishing
Lesson 13
Read
- Little Folks Land
Joe-boys
room furnishing
Lesson 14
Read
- Little Folks Land
- Let's Go Home: The Wonderful Things about a House
The
completed house
Lesson 15
Read
- Little Folks Land
Joe-Boy’s partyFrom this I decided that we covered house position and that lead to compasses and so to maps and from this was borne a maps block which I decided should come first. Again I gathered books, atlases, workbooks, dvds, bought some map jigsaws and made some worksheets and so here is the lesson plan for the Maps work.
Lesson 1
Pirates
Read
- My First Book of Pirates
- Maps and Globes
- Once Upon a time Map Book, Neverland
Do
– Map Skills workbook
Watch
- Goonies
Make
- Hat, eye patch, telescope, treasure map
Lesson 2
Explorers
Read
- Usborne Christopher Columbus
- Usborne James Cook
- Once Upon a time Map Book, Oz
Do
– Map Skills workbook
Worksheets
on explorers
Complete
Compass points worksheet
Jigsaws
- UK, World
Lesson 3
Read
- Maps and Mapping
- Once Upon a time Map Book, Wonderland
and Giants kingdom
- Whole World in Your Hands
Do
– Map Skills workbook
Montessori
matching cards
Colour
Continents Map in Montessori colours
Colour
map to show if it is very hot, average, or very cold
Lesson 4
Read
- Once Upon a time Map Book, Aladdin’s Kingdom and Enchanted Forest
- Buried Treasure
Do
– Map Skills workbook
Do
‘My Bedroom’ worksheet
Do
‘My House’ worksheet
Look
at a compass to work out direction.
Find
our house on a street map and town map
Look
at Atlases.
And this is what I do for every project. I start with a subject and turn it into a multi-dimensional project with hands on learning, audio/visual stimulations, stories, visits and experiences. I use google, Amazon and ebay, plus I keep websites and ideas of all the things I see, just in case they come in handy.
Hope that explains things.
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Educational Paths and other Stanbury Ramblings.
The week here has been another busy one and I feel like our home-schooling is in a state of constant change. The good thing about home education is that you can literally fit the education to the purpose you are serving, the child's interests and their needs. In our house, even with our use of structure, education is so very fluid and flexible changing all the time.
Right now we are entering into another new phase of things. Abi is at a stage of 'rounding up' her pre-16 education. She is bored with everything and finding it a slog but this is a common feeling as one phase ends and another is on the horizon to begin. She is still attacking Math with fair determination. I almost feel like we are winning this fight and there is a huge possibility of her managing this exam better. Abi continues with her science though truthfully I think this is not proceeding as speedily as she would like. Im in no doubt that she'll do it by August though. Her music lessons continue and he has now decided to learn violin as well as piano. I did say she could quit piano once she got to grade 3(Nov this year) but I secretly hope she persists. So each day is violin practice then piano, which she practices more now she has piano lessons only once a week than she did when she was having them weekly.
By comparison Emma's scholastic life is gearing up somewhat. Insistent that she really does want to do that many exams (8!!!!) we are having to think how to best achieve that.To begin with we will do French which she has studied quite thoroughly for nearly 3 years now and I think she is more than able to manage. She'll take that next year and then 2/3 a year after that. The rest of this year is mostly about finishing off. Finishing off her Sonlight, ACE and Apologia sciences, finishing ACE Maths and English, and finishing French.
Next year will be a year of starting; Maths English, igcse sciences, and Spanish as well as continuing Food Tech and Art. She is doing piano still and wants to keep playing but she want to learn flute as well which I am also very pleased with. We are hoping to pick it up this week. The lovely science lady that Emma works with has just offered Emma the chance to enter the national science competition too which J will help her with so that is another exciting string in her bow. Also thanks to her visit to Kingston Maurwood Emma may have found a course she would like to do. She is particularly interested in the Lvl 1 Floristry at the college for when is 14. There are two pluses to this; first there is at least one other HE girl who would be there at the same time, and it would be the perfect way to gently introduce her to people she doesn't know without her overdoing it. Of course the negative will be the cost. With Emma not long from being done with education I will just be educating boys. Eeeeek! How does one do that (especially if they aren't good with rough and tumble, outdoorsy, make and do type children)?
Seb is (finally) doing some good reading work. I think. Well he seems to be reading the instructions for his work, his ORT level 6 books which it seems are just right for his age even though I was panicking, his readers, his Beast Quest books and most things I wish he didn't read (like the label on the Amazon parcel which stated what was in it, namely his birthday present). He is still doing Singapore Math, just starting 1B, and singapore start-up science-starting book2. He is doing DrawWriteNow which he is liking. Map work is coming to an end (Yay!) and we are starting piano, recorders and (very basic) French. We are starting Ladybird Keywords as well as learning the (dull) NLS keywords. His building project has started and he made his first lego model house. Next is learning about Architects and planning the house that the gyspy family are going to build.
And thats where our educational journey is taking us right now; onto a new and yet all too familiar path. 8 years of home education this year and I still never know what to expect next.
Lucas is determined, bless him, to not allow any work to take place at all because he IS the centre of the universe. lol. He has taken 8 tentative steps although is still far too unsteady on his feet to be safe walking. He even has several bumps, bruises and cuts to prove it *rolls eyes* . I keep hoping that this exercise will tire him out. No luck so far. I was advised today to put him in reins in his cot to stop him fidgeting and moving. Oh my goodness, I am still in shock now I think. Honestly, how did the woman not get arrested. :-O
We took a day trip to Devon on Saturday to see my mum and dad for the day which was a short and sweet visit. It wasn't too exciting but was a day out nevertheless.
And today was mothers day/Nathan's 17th birthday. I was thoroughly spoilt by my family with flowers, a tea-for-one cup, Lush goodies and ....a hair brush all of my own *very big grin* Mine broke three years ago and I have been using the family one. Oh how I longed for one of my own and I finally have one. Yes Im easily pleased!
Nathan wasn't here when we woke this morning. It was odd to have a birthday without him waking us to open presents, asking for his favourite food and being happy to hang out with us. In fact he came home in time for lunch, opened presents then asked to be dropped at his girlfriends. I guess its what they do when they are grown up and independent. And I am proud of him because at times I didn't think we'd get this far. But it was weird. And a little Sad.
Right now we are entering into another new phase of things. Abi is at a stage of 'rounding up' her pre-16 education. She is bored with everything and finding it a slog but this is a common feeling as one phase ends and another is on the horizon to begin. She is still attacking Math with fair determination. I almost feel like we are winning this fight and there is a huge possibility of her managing this exam better. Abi continues with her science though truthfully I think this is not proceeding as speedily as she would like. Im in no doubt that she'll do it by August though. Her music lessons continue and he has now decided to learn violin as well as piano. I did say she could quit piano once she got to grade 3(Nov this year) but I secretly hope she persists. So each day is violin practice then piano, which she practices more now she has piano lessons only once a week than she did when she was having them weekly.
By comparison Emma's scholastic life is gearing up somewhat. Insistent that she really does want to do that many exams (8!!!!) we are having to think how to best achieve that.To begin with we will do French which she has studied quite thoroughly for nearly 3 years now and I think she is more than able to manage. She'll take that next year and then 2/3 a year after that. The rest of this year is mostly about finishing off. Finishing off her Sonlight, ACE and Apologia sciences, finishing ACE Maths and English, and finishing French.
Next year will be a year of starting; Maths English, igcse sciences, and Spanish as well as continuing Food Tech and Art. She is doing piano still and wants to keep playing but she want to learn flute as well which I am also very pleased with. We are hoping to pick it up this week. The lovely science lady that Emma works with has just offered Emma the chance to enter the national science competition too which J will help her with so that is another exciting string in her bow. Also thanks to her visit to Kingston Maurwood Emma may have found a course she would like to do. She is particularly interested in the Lvl 1 Floristry at the college for when is 14. There are two pluses to this; first there is at least one other HE girl who would be there at the same time, and it would be the perfect way to gently introduce her to people she doesn't know without her overdoing it. Of course the negative will be the cost. With Emma not long from being done with education I will just be educating boys. Eeeeek! How does one do that (especially if they aren't good with rough and tumble, outdoorsy, make and do type children)?
Seb is (finally) doing some good reading work. I think. Well he seems to be reading the instructions for his work, his ORT level 6 books which it seems are just right for his age even though I was panicking, his readers, his Beast Quest books and most things I wish he didn't read (like the label on the Amazon parcel which stated what was in it, namely his birthday present). He is still doing Singapore Math, just starting 1B, and singapore start-up science-starting book2. He is doing DrawWriteNow which he is liking. Map work is coming to an end (Yay!) and we are starting piano, recorders and (very basic) French. We are starting Ladybird Keywords as well as learning the (dull) NLS keywords. His building project has started and he made his first lego model house. Next is learning about Architects and planning the house that the gyspy family are going to build.
And thats where our educational journey is taking us right now; onto a new and yet all too familiar path. 8 years of home education this year and I still never know what to expect next.
Lucas is determined, bless him, to not allow any work to take place at all because he IS the centre of the universe. lol. He has taken 8 tentative steps although is still far too unsteady on his feet to be safe walking. He even has several bumps, bruises and cuts to prove it *rolls eyes* . I keep hoping that this exercise will tire him out. No luck so far. I was advised today to put him in reins in his cot to stop him fidgeting and moving. Oh my goodness, I am still in shock now I think. Honestly, how did the woman not get arrested. :-O
We took a day trip to Devon on Saturday to see my mum and dad for the day which was a short and sweet visit. It wasn't too exciting but was a day out nevertheless.
And today was mothers day/Nathan's 17th birthday. I was thoroughly spoilt by my family with flowers, a tea-for-one cup, Lush goodies and ....a hair brush all of my own *very big grin* Mine broke three years ago and I have been using the family one. Oh how I longed for one of my own and I finally have one. Yes Im easily pleased!
Nathan wasn't here when we woke this morning. It was odd to have a birthday without him waking us to open presents, asking for his favourite food and being happy to hang out with us. In fact he came home in time for lunch, opened presents then asked to be dropped at his girlfriends. I guess its what they do when they are grown up and independent. And I am proud of him because at times I didn't think we'd get this far. But it was weird. And a little Sad.
Thursday, 15 March 2012
How Do You Know..?
By the time we finally got a diagnosis for Nathan we knew unequivocally that there was an issue. There was no doubt and everyone/thing else had already been blamed by every official going and there really was nothing else to do but diagnose him.
The Dr I had was wonderful and was also happy to look at the other two children at my request because, as I told her, I didn't want to spend another 9 years waiting to find out if there was a problem or not when a simple appointment could tell me whether there was an issue or whether I was the neurotic mother that everyone, including my own mother, thought I was. She was able to give a very basic diagnosis of issues the girls had and I was happy knowing that I had been taken seriously. These diagnoses, rather than being used as excuses (as people seemed to think) were useful signposts to tailoring the management of their education and their daily lives.
Forward 6 years and I have been struggling with Seb for a really long time. He has always been a bit clever really and when he attended nursery they had him on a G &T programme of learning from the time he was 3. He continues to be a bright spark but his behaviour is often difficult, he is easily offended, cant cope with not being allowed to do things, is ferociously stubborn and single-minded, fiercely independent and completely distractable.
He also struggles with social boundries (no means 'no', we are gentle with younger kids, people dont want to play power rangers all day, we don't kiss dh's work colleague, no we don't stand 6inches away from someones face, no we dont keep smacking them on the bottom/rubbing/stroking them.... the list is endless *sigh*) If I were looking at diagnosis I would say ADD type problems with some AS in the mix.
But times are changed. We cant access diagnosis these days for a start being as we are home educators. Second, without school to back up my 'findings' it looks like neurotic parent syndrome all over again. Then there is the fact that I have met many other children that are far far worse and he, by comparison, is a saint. When I went to ATC last weekend, he was perfectly well behaved (for a little boy,lol) and was just full of rough and tumble, boyish behaviour. Not to mention playing with sticks *rolls eyes*
Then there are his reading/memory issues that drive me to distraction. He gets his vowel sounds muddled up (for example bag is read b-e-g), regularly forgets b,d,t,l,q,u,w and y, doesn't know his letter names and does his 2,3,4,7 as well as s, j and z backwards. I am told by my friend A not to worry, which I mostly dont, but his struggles frustrate him and me. And his latest habit is guessing at words, losing his place and messing up his sentences. I would say dyslexia but more and more I wonder if he has some tracking issues - though I have absolutely no idea what we do about that.
So from being so certain and so sure of difficulties with the other children, I have become a parent who doubts my self and wonders whether there is really a problem at all. With only mild difficulties the process is so much harder to pinpoint. When things are less severe, as a parent, how do you know?
The Dr I had was wonderful and was also happy to look at the other two children at my request because, as I told her, I didn't want to spend another 9 years waiting to find out if there was a problem or not when a simple appointment could tell me whether there was an issue or whether I was the neurotic mother that everyone, including my own mother, thought I was. She was able to give a very basic diagnosis of issues the girls had and I was happy knowing that I had been taken seriously. These diagnoses, rather than being used as excuses (as people seemed to think) were useful signposts to tailoring the management of their education and their daily lives.
Forward 6 years and I have been struggling with Seb for a really long time. He has always been a bit clever really and when he attended nursery they had him on a G &T programme of learning from the time he was 3. He continues to be a bright spark but his behaviour is often difficult, he is easily offended, cant cope with not being allowed to do things, is ferociously stubborn and single-minded, fiercely independent and completely distractable.
He also struggles with social boundries (no means 'no', we are gentle with younger kids, people dont want to play power rangers all day, we don't kiss dh's work colleague, no we don't stand 6inches away from someones face, no we dont keep smacking them on the bottom/rubbing/stroking them.... the list is endless *sigh*) If I were looking at diagnosis I would say ADD type problems with some AS in the mix.
But times are changed. We cant access diagnosis these days for a start being as we are home educators. Second, without school to back up my 'findings' it looks like neurotic parent syndrome all over again. Then there is the fact that I have met many other children that are far far worse and he, by comparison, is a saint. When I went to ATC last weekend, he was perfectly well behaved (for a little boy,lol) and was just full of rough and tumble, boyish behaviour. Not to mention playing with sticks *rolls eyes*
Then there are his reading/memory issues that drive me to distraction. He gets his vowel sounds muddled up (for example bag is read b-e-g), regularly forgets b,d,t,l,q,u,w and y, doesn't know his letter names and does his 2,3,4,7 as well as s, j and z backwards. I am told by my friend A not to worry, which I mostly dont, but his struggles frustrate him and me. And his latest habit is guessing at words, losing his place and messing up his sentences. I would say dyslexia but more and more I wonder if he has some tracking issues - though I have absolutely no idea what we do about that.
So from being so certain and so sure of difficulties with the other children, I have become a parent who doubts my self and wonders whether there is really a problem at all. With only mild difficulties the process is so much harder to pinpoint. When things are less severe, as a parent, how do you know?
Sunday, 11 March 2012
One Small Step....
This week has been an interesting one in so many ways, the most amazing of which Lucas has taken his first steps. Actual proper brave steps without holding on. He even managed 5 in a row. However its clear he isnt stable enough to be properly walking yet and is spending more time nose diving the floor than actually walking. I am certain it wont be long before his balance kicks in and he is away.
On top of this, he has discovered babbling. Adadadada. dada, agabagada. Lovely :) It is just the cutest thing.
Much of this week has involved people being away and being busy with Abi at Bicton on Tuesday, Emma in Wales on Wednesday, shopping on Thursday, HEY on Friday and a lovely trip out to the Ancient Technology Centre on Saturday. In fact its a wonder we did any work at all. I spent Monday through Wednesday feeling ill with a cold which Lucas also managed to catch and still have a lingering odd sore throat now.
We had been dealing with a lot of hormonal issues from the girls this week Abi has a thing going on for DH work colleague (who is only 19, but still) plus she is incredibly attitudinally challenged. Emma is very frustrated and keeps crying about everything. I find her in tears regularly and I really hope it passes as her SM make it impossible to get to the route of the problem.
The best thing about this week (apart from Wednesday), has been all this sunshine!
On top of this, he has discovered babbling. Adadadada. dada, agabagada. Lovely :) It is just the cutest thing.
Much of this week has involved people being away and being busy with Abi at Bicton on Tuesday, Emma in Wales on Wednesday, shopping on Thursday, HEY on Friday and a lovely trip out to the Ancient Technology Centre on Saturday. In fact its a wonder we did any work at all. I spent Monday through Wednesday feeling ill with a cold which Lucas also managed to catch and still have a lingering odd sore throat now.
We had been dealing with a lot of hormonal issues from the girls this week Abi has a thing going on for DH work colleague (who is only 19, but still) plus she is incredibly attitudinally challenged. Emma is very frustrated and keeps crying about everything. I find her in tears regularly and I really hope it passes as her SM make it impossible to get to the route of the problem.
The best thing about this week (apart from Wednesday), has been all this sunshine!
Friday, 9 March 2012
I am NOT an attachment parent....am I?
About three weeks ago I was whinging (me, whing? shock, horror!) to one of the mums at our HE group who supports breastfeeding in a local children's centre, about how I am permanently with Lucas, feeding him all night (literally) and never get a moments break. She looked at me and said that if I really hated nursing him all night I could choose to stop, OR I could be really proud that I have managed to to be a really good attachment parent to my son. Since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about that phrase and how it applies to me.
I am not well versed on what attachment parenting means because quite frankly until recently the thought of attaching myself to my children in any way was a completely ridiculous notion. For goodness sakes, children need discipline, a firm hand, routine and rules, dont you know! They need to cry it out, and be given security in the form of routine.
I love my children dearly but when I was bringing up my oldest three children it was 'normal' to put them down after you had (bottle)fed them, to let them cry it out to sleep, to not hold them whilst they slept and to place them in prams when out and about. It never seemed wrong to do these things and I don't think it did them any real harm and I never felt bad really. Just frustrated occasionally the the crying it out thing didn't really work.
So what changed? Well thats easy, I began home educating and it opened my eyes to many many new things, one of which was the way to parent differently. When Seb came along it no longer felt ok to leave him to cry and breastfeeding felt more right than it ever had before even if I did ultimately fail. I tried to be a 'yes' parent rather than a 'no' one and allowed him far greater freedoms than with my other children. I don't think I really attachment parented though.
What about now, what changed to make my parenting style so different? Am I an attachment parent now? When I was pregnant with Lucas I became very focused and centred on the pregnancy, I really tuned in to his every move and flutter. I suppose my intense desire to breastfeed really propelled me into learning more about babies feeding needs which in turn taught me a lot about babies needs and the benefits of responding positively to these needs.
But attachment parenting? Hmmm. My biggest issue with AP previously has been that they seemed to be a bunch of weird hippy women still breastfeeding their 10 year old, and kids who were out of control, had no manners and had no sense of sometimes in life doing things they didn't want to. I felt really certain that it wasn't conducive with how our family runs and I still agree with that.
What made a really difference for me was meeting my friend C. She wasn't weird or a hippy, she wasn't planning to breastfeed forever, nor did her children run amok in any way - what she was though was attentive, and intuitive parent. What I saw was a woman responding to her baby's needs, not because she was an 'attachment parent' but because that was what instinctively felt right.
I watched her carry her baby, breastfeed her baby, and 'discipline/train' her baby in a way I hadn't experienced before; with a gentle, responsive, intuitive nature that her baby responded to so easily. I thought that I wished I had done that with my children and if I could do it all again I would do that. Then lo and behold, I was pregnant with Lucas.
From day 1 I was acutely aware of Lucas. It felt right to hold him and not put him down. It felt right to spend day after day doing skin to skin. Any time I had a doubt about it my friend A would say the right thing and reassure me that I was getting to know my baby and building a bond. Lucas didn't like to be put down so it was natural to keep him with my in my arms or in a sling. Who wouldn't choose a sling over a crying distraught baby.
Feeding was kind of the same. I wanted to breastfeed, A enabled me though her gentle, kind words, sometimes blunt words but always encouraging words. I found the first 6 months a struggle, but actually I picked up my boy today and easily fed him whilst I chatted away to another lady and I realised I was ACTUALLY feeding my baby and I don't intend to stop until Lucas and I are ready which could be a while...(sorry mum!). I can actually, finally, envision feeding a toddler now.
A natural by-product of this is co-sleeping. Something I'd always thought terribly poor discipline. Yet now its the most natural, logical, sensible thing to do. DH has the good grace to be relegated to the floor most nights so that Lucas and I can feed and sleep comfortably and uninterrupted. Discipline isn't even relevant to what happens for us. I go to bed at 7.30/8pm every night when Lucas does. We bath together then we feed and he sleeps whilst I hang out beside him. Seems ridiculous to most, and 5 years ago Id have thought it appalling but its what we do now. It feels right for him to go to bed, but equally it feels right to be with him so thats what we do. And Lucas feeds a lot at night, 1-1.5hourly actually, and I could stop him, or train him out of it. But he must be eating at night for a reason. And he is a foody in the daytime, milk is his night time thing so we feed.
There are probably other things too that I forget. Other small ways I am parenting differently. Ways I am responding to needs in a different way. What I am learning is that 'AP' parents do put their babies down, they do have others hold their babies, they do use pushchairs, and do instil discipline into their children. As a general rule they are like every other parent only they are choosing to respond to their child's needs with love, respect and cooperation.
So, if Attachment Parenting means noticing what your child needs and responding to them, then I guess that I am an Attachment Parent after all. But the name to me implies a parent who is too clingy, who doesn't discipline and who cant let go. But what I am is an intuitive, responsive parent who meets the needs of my child from the heart rather than a reactive parent who responds from the head. AP should stand for Attentive Parent because that far more accurate.
I am not well versed on what attachment parenting means because quite frankly until recently the thought of attaching myself to my children in any way was a completely ridiculous notion. For goodness sakes, children need discipline, a firm hand, routine and rules, dont you know! They need to cry it out, and be given security in the form of routine.
I love my children dearly but when I was bringing up my oldest three children it was 'normal' to put them down after you had (bottle)fed them, to let them cry it out to sleep, to not hold them whilst they slept and to place them in prams when out and about. It never seemed wrong to do these things and I don't think it did them any real harm and I never felt bad really. Just frustrated occasionally the the crying it out thing didn't really work.
So what changed? Well thats easy, I began home educating and it opened my eyes to many many new things, one of which was the way to parent differently. When Seb came along it no longer felt ok to leave him to cry and breastfeeding felt more right than it ever had before even if I did ultimately fail. I tried to be a 'yes' parent rather than a 'no' one and allowed him far greater freedoms than with my other children. I don't think I really attachment parented though.
What about now, what changed to make my parenting style so different? Am I an attachment parent now? When I was pregnant with Lucas I became very focused and centred on the pregnancy, I really tuned in to his every move and flutter. I suppose my intense desire to breastfeed really propelled me into learning more about babies feeding needs which in turn taught me a lot about babies needs and the benefits of responding positively to these needs.
But attachment parenting? Hmmm. My biggest issue with AP previously has been that they seemed to be a bunch of weird hippy women still breastfeeding their 10 year old, and kids who were out of control, had no manners and had no sense of sometimes in life doing things they didn't want to. I felt really certain that it wasn't conducive with how our family runs and I still agree with that.
What made a really difference for me was meeting my friend C. She wasn't weird or a hippy, she wasn't planning to breastfeed forever, nor did her children run amok in any way - what she was though was attentive, and intuitive parent. What I saw was a woman responding to her baby's needs, not because she was an 'attachment parent' but because that was what instinctively felt right.
I watched her carry her baby, breastfeed her baby, and 'discipline/train' her baby in a way I hadn't experienced before; with a gentle, responsive, intuitive nature that her baby responded to so easily. I thought that I wished I had done that with my children and if I could do it all again I would do that. Then lo and behold, I was pregnant with Lucas.
From day 1 I was acutely aware of Lucas. It felt right to hold him and not put him down. It felt right to spend day after day doing skin to skin. Any time I had a doubt about it my friend A would say the right thing and reassure me that I was getting to know my baby and building a bond. Lucas didn't like to be put down so it was natural to keep him with my in my arms or in a sling. Who wouldn't choose a sling over a crying distraught baby.
Feeding was kind of the same. I wanted to breastfeed, A enabled me though her gentle, kind words, sometimes blunt words but always encouraging words. I found the first 6 months a struggle, but actually I picked up my boy today and easily fed him whilst I chatted away to another lady and I realised I was ACTUALLY feeding my baby and I don't intend to stop until Lucas and I are ready which could be a while...(sorry mum!). I can actually, finally, envision feeding a toddler now.
A natural by-product of this is co-sleeping. Something I'd always thought terribly poor discipline. Yet now its the most natural, logical, sensible thing to do. DH has the good grace to be relegated to the floor most nights so that Lucas and I can feed and sleep comfortably and uninterrupted. Discipline isn't even relevant to what happens for us. I go to bed at 7.30/8pm every night when Lucas does. We bath together then we feed and he sleeps whilst I hang out beside him. Seems ridiculous to most, and 5 years ago Id have thought it appalling but its what we do now. It feels right for him to go to bed, but equally it feels right to be with him so thats what we do. And Lucas feeds a lot at night, 1-1.5hourly actually, and I could stop him, or train him out of it. But he must be eating at night for a reason. And he is a foody in the daytime, milk is his night time thing so we feed.
There are probably other things too that I forget. Other small ways I am parenting differently. Ways I am responding to needs in a different way. What I am learning is that 'AP' parents do put their babies down, they do have others hold their babies, they do use pushchairs, and do instil discipline into their children. As a general rule they are like every other parent only they are choosing to respond to their child's needs with love, respect and cooperation.
So, if Attachment Parenting means noticing what your child needs and responding to them, then I guess that I am an Attachment Parent after all. But the name to me implies a parent who is too clingy, who doesn't discipline and who cant let go. But what I am is an intuitive, responsive parent who meets the needs of my child from the heart rather than a reactive parent who responds from the head. AP should stand for Attentive Parent because that far more accurate.
Saturday, 3 March 2012
A Day at The Farm
Today was lambing weekend at Kingston Maurwood and as recommended we decided to go down to see all the baby lambs. I do struggle with going places since Lucas was born but I took the plunge and decided to just go for it.
The weather was possibly meant to be wet but as it turned out we couldn't have asked for a nicer day. We got there at around 10 and looked at the lambs then we were lucky enough to meet A and her lovely dh and children. We spent a lovely time just walking and talking with them all. All the children seemed to get on really well and Abi remarked that A's son did really well and is like her cousin Anthony but better trained!! There was a fraught moment when Seb decided to hide himself from us but he was soon found and we were able to continue our day. All the children got to ride on tractors, hold birds of prey and feed animals as well as burn off lots of energy. Emma's only complaint was that there weren't enough trees to climb.
I had the added bonus of having an experts' brain to pick on all sorts of subjects and came out of it feeling far less worried about Seb.
Everyone got something from the gift shop and as a bonus the bickering didn't start until we were all safely in the confined space of the car.
By the time we got home I was utterly exhausted and was so grateful that DH was home and able to help out, we had takeaway for tea and here I am now only 7.30 and tucked safely in bed.
Happy good day!!
The weather was possibly meant to be wet but as it turned out we couldn't have asked for a nicer day. We got there at around 10 and looked at the lambs then we were lucky enough to meet A and her lovely dh and children. We spent a lovely time just walking and talking with them all. All the children seemed to get on really well and Abi remarked that A's son did really well and is like her cousin Anthony but better trained!! There was a fraught moment when Seb decided to hide himself from us but he was soon found and we were able to continue our day. All the children got to ride on tractors, hold birds of prey and feed animals as well as burn off lots of energy. Emma's only complaint was that there weren't enough trees to climb.
I had the added bonus of having an experts' brain to pick on all sorts of subjects and came out of it feeling far less worried about Seb.
Everyone got something from the gift shop and as a bonus the bickering didn't start until we were all safely in the confined space of the car.
By the time we got home I was utterly exhausted and was so grateful that DH was home and able to help out, we had takeaway for tea and here I am now only 7.30 and tucked safely in bed.
Happy good day!!
Friday, 2 March 2012
Slipping into Spring
The weather has been truly magical and springlike this week. Oh I just love it, I really do. I love that its getting light before 7am, I love the fog burning off to leave us with just-warm spring sunshine, I love washing blowing in the breeze and daylight at 6pm. I just love it all.
I cant really remember much of this week, its just been a blur of homeschool with a couple of visits. We began Sebs Building main lesson block at long last and Emma has decided she wants to work through it too. This has been taken well although there is a certain amount of Seb wanting to know when he gets to do lego. So far we have learnt a little about gypsies, made some clay pots, done some drawing in MLB and read some of our Houses and Homes book. Its been quite good fun.
Seb did some Reading Eggs, Singapore Maths and ETC and has nearly finished his Sonlight first reader (thank goodness, its beyond dull!!) He planted some cress for his science too.
Emma has been working really hard on Food Tech and Art which is lovely to see and has has been doing Maths, English and her Apologia science stuff. She had her Grade 2 theory exam on Thursday which she thought went well and is now keen to start grade 3 theory - she adores theory, strange girl.
Abi had done..... Maths! We cannot wait until June and the whole thing is over. She is just so keen to move on and I know she is trying less hard than she could be but I cant make her try either. Hey Ho!
On Tuesday I met up at Jungle Jungle with a couple of other homeschoolers with 'busy' boys and it was lovely just to hang out there. Unfortunately my sore throat was still lingering and I developed one of the absolutely worst headaches I had in a while. By the time I got home it was full blown migraine status. I had a scary near-miss as my vision did its migraine thing and clouded over. I made it home in once piece but I literally had to hand Lucas to Abi, throw up and then take tablets. It was an awful few hours until the tablets kicked in.
Thursday we had a short visit with another friend who we rarely see these days. It was lovely to spend a couple hours talking about home ed ideas and techniques.
HEY was better this week too although I am convinced the better weather was the key. We decided to talk there as it was just such lovely weather. A new lady came with her twin boys and I was more alert so more able to function.
Most of our free time has been spent outside soaking up sunshine and making the most of the heat as the weekend looks set to return to chillier, wetter weather. Joy!
I cant really remember much of this week, its just been a blur of homeschool with a couple of visits. We began Sebs Building main lesson block at long last and Emma has decided she wants to work through it too. This has been taken well although there is a certain amount of Seb wanting to know when he gets to do lego. So far we have learnt a little about gypsies, made some clay pots, done some drawing in MLB and read some of our Houses and Homes book. Its been quite good fun.
Seb did some Reading Eggs, Singapore Maths and ETC and has nearly finished his Sonlight first reader (thank goodness, its beyond dull!!) He planted some cress for his science too.
Emma has been working really hard on Food Tech and Art which is lovely to see and has has been doing Maths, English and her Apologia science stuff. She had her Grade 2 theory exam on Thursday which she thought went well and is now keen to start grade 3 theory - she adores theory, strange girl.
Abi had done..... Maths! We cannot wait until June and the whole thing is over. She is just so keen to move on and I know she is trying less hard than she could be but I cant make her try either. Hey Ho!
On Tuesday I met up at Jungle Jungle with a couple of other homeschoolers with 'busy' boys and it was lovely just to hang out there. Unfortunately my sore throat was still lingering and I developed one of the absolutely worst headaches I had in a while. By the time I got home it was full blown migraine status. I had a scary near-miss as my vision did its migraine thing and clouded over. I made it home in once piece but I literally had to hand Lucas to Abi, throw up and then take tablets. It was an awful few hours until the tablets kicked in.
Thursday we had a short visit with another friend who we rarely see these days. It was lovely to spend a couple hours talking about home ed ideas and techniques.
HEY was better this week too although I am convinced the better weather was the key. We decided to talk there as it was just such lovely weather. A new lady came with her twin boys and I was more alert so more able to function.
Most of our free time has been spent outside soaking up sunshine and making the most of the heat as the weekend looks set to return to chillier, wetter weather. Joy!
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