BreastFeeding

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Breastfeeding
I never expected I would want to dedicate a page to breastfeeding. But breastfeeding has become such a passion of mine in a way I never thought it would. I felt so bitterly disappointed with myself and my circumstances when I couldn't manage to breastfeed my four other children that breastfeeding Lucas became something of a crusade. It required more willpower and determination than I ever expected but the reward has been huge. 
However I do think there are some things that no-one tells you (or at least don't make it to any of the breastfeeding pamphlets). And if you don't expect them, they can really make you think breastfeeding isnt worth the bother. So here are 10 that every new mother should know about breastfeeding.
  1. It is really hard at first. Not for everyone of course, but like every skill there is an element of learning and even if it worked right the last time doesn't mean it will this time. And that's normal and ok. The key here is the latch. How you latch will make all the difference to how you feed and it could be different as baby grows, but equally it could be different on each breast. If in doubt, get help.
  2. You need far more rest than a bottlefeeding mother. Again, probably not everyone needs this but your body is being drained and in order to make milk you have to rest. A LOT.The trick is to literally sleep when they do and co-sleep  (yes it IS safe). If you have other kids its hard and I dont know what to suggest. I bribed asked my older kids to watch my 6yo and paid a mother's help to get his work done, and let friends take 6yo regularly. I am only just feeling normal even now he is 6 months old.
  3. You get incredibly hungry and thirsty.  I never really realised just how much you need to listen to your body. Not so much in the way of extra calories but more several small nutritious meals, and lots and lots to drink. I eat a small snack at bedtime and in the beginning I ate at around 4am too as I needed to. Whenever I haven't had enough to drink I get dizzy too.
  4. You have to adapt your positioning as your baby grows. For the first two weeks it was tiring but relatively easy (if you ignore the thrush, mastitis and feeding a lot,lol) but when I phoned my breastfeeding counsellor she helped me to see that I was still feeding my 2.5week old as if he was newborn when he had grown out of that hold and it needed adapting slightly. All the books tell you how to start, but not what to do next.
  5. You feed A LOT. It is as normal to feed hourly as it is to feed 3hourly. My baby fed anywhere from every 45mins to 2hours and still rarely manages more than 3 hours at 6months old. You feel like you never sleep and it can feel like hell at times but you learn to cope. The key is not to clock watch at all, feed in the first instance and if its refused, don't push it, just try something else. Odds are that they will feed. As they get older they do all sorts of odd feeding and feed for 3-5 mins, or just a minute, depending what they need. It is not like bottlefeeding and they do not need 3/4 hour feeds.
  6. You will be tied to the sofa/bed/house quite often to start. Once again, this might not be the case but if it is, thats normal too. I didn't leave the house properly until Lucas was about 6weeks old. He would just finish feeding and I would let him sleep for a second whilst I attempted a loo break only for him to wake soon after for more food. This was worse at certain times, in our case 8.30am-12noon and 5-9pm each day he would eat 'constantly'. Also he went though growth spurts at around 3wk, 6wk, 9wk, 3mth, 4mth, 6mth where he needed a few days of lots of foods. Both the periods of feeding 'constantly' (called cluster feeding) and the certain ages where suddenly they eat a lot again are all normal. Not signs of needing food.
  7. You really cant be that dignified when you breastfeed, you'll get really familiar with your boobs. Im not of the smallest of bust and despite my best efforts I still require 2 hands and all my cleavage when I feed. One arm to hold, the other to support the breast. I have to get my boob out before I try and lay him down to feed so at some point someone is going to see your boob (usually the poor people in Tesco - yup he knows exactly when to feed *chuckle*) And maybe you can try cover ups, blankets, muslins and the like but my little man hated them and would cry so much when I tried. In the end I just thought, sod it, its a natural part of life and not illegal and  I don't make people look. Nowadays I feed anywhere and everywhere.
  8. You wont necessarily like breastfeeding. Honestly sometimes, when I was feeding for the 3rd time in an hour, when Lucas wouldn't latch on, when he screamed for hours, or seemed frustrated and upset, when he seemed to dislike feeding at all, I hated breastfeeding. What it took was absolute, resolute, steadfast determination that it was the best thing. And HEAPS and HEAPS of support. 
  9. You are not a failure if you give a bottle or a soother. The advice is not to, and I agree in the first 4-6weeks because you want to be sure your baby is familiar with how their food/comfort is given. However, if you have a baby who is particularly unsettled, cries a lot, or wants to suck but has had enough of the breast after a feed, a soother isn't the end of the world. My boy was 5wks old when I tried him with a dummy. He was eating loads, putting on weight, not refusing milk but still cried and seems unsettled after a feed. He wanted to suck constantly be kept sicking up excess milk and in the end I bought soothers and they were an instant success. I always try feeding him first but if he has refused or finished he will often take the soother and then sleep. Equally with bottles, they can provide relief. My boy wont take bottles but not for the lack of trying. I was particularly stressed as he was off colour, crying loads, refusing to nurse and not sleeping a lot. Id reached a point where I decided he was 4.5month old, unlikely to suffer any major confusion so Id let my husband try him with expressed breast milk in a bottle. 6 different teats and 6 refusals later we gave up and he sucked properly at the breast ever since. However if he had taken it I am certain we'd be using the bottle still now. The odd bottle of expressed milk isn't the end of the world.
  10. You need as much support and reassurance as you can lay your hands on. In an ideal world every breastfeeding mother should have telephone support on hand 24/7 for the first 3mth plus regular support for the first 6mth. I was so incredibly lucky that a friend took on that roll for free and I love her so much for it. There are groups that offer support and helplines and you should definitely use them. But also attend support groups, find out who your NHS feeding specialists are and contact them, read the support websites, and read breastfeeding books. Also be around breastfeeding friends or those who used to do it and speak to them. Only they know what you are going through and understand when your baby pulls your top down in the middle of town and wants to feed, or if you have to stand topless and sway whilst feeding at 3am because it soothes your baby. Because they have seen/done it all before.

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